


Agoraphobia

by Gemzy



Category: H2O Delirious - Fandom, H2OVanoss - Fandom, VanossGaming (Video Blogging RPF)
Genre: Agoraphobia, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Panic Attacks, Prompt Fic, Triggers, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-14
Updated: 2015-03-14
Packaged: 2018-03-17 19:48:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3541757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gemzy/pseuds/Gemzy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Agoraphobia (ag•o•ra•pho•bi•a)<br/>The extreme or irrational fear of crowded or enclosed public spaces.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Agoraphobia

**Author's Note:**

> This was an anonymous tumblr prompt asking for panic attack!Jonathan. It was too long so I've decided to stick it here.  
> Follow me http://lostindaydreams-gemz.tumblr.com/ & twitter/LilMissGemzy 

_Agoraphobia (ag·o·ra·pho·bi·a)  
The extreme or irrational fear of crowded or enclosed public spaces._

Black dots _swim in front of his eyes_ and he fights back the dizziness and nausea, it’s like the world is closing in on him, like he can't breathe.  
He feels as though he's struggling to keep his head above water, tight panicked sensation in his chest, and it's hard to breathe for minutes at a time, long stretches where he's sure he's drowning on dry land. It's all too much.

Being surrounded by this many people, strangers with faces he doesn’t recognise all blurring together and creating a wall around him. He feels trapped and numb, so tired and lost, he doesn’t know where his friends are and his legs feel like lead, he can’t move to look for them.  
People are starting to pay attention to him now, taking note of his wide eyed expression, and the panic on his face.

 _He can't_ fucking _breathe_ , and _he_ gulps in air - inhale, inhale - and exhales just as a large warm hand touches his elbow. Jonathan squeaks snapping his head to stare at the tall man beside him.

 

“Jonathan where’d you go man, we thought you were behind us” Evan asked the man in front of him. His eyes widening as Jonathan launched himself at Evan, _clutching_ at his _jumper_ like it was a _lifeline._ His breathing heavy and his bright sapphire eyes a little damp. Evan wraps his arms automatically around the smaller man, worriedly before his brain clicked the pieces together.

 _“I’m a fucking idiot”_ Evan thought to himself, reprimanding himself for not noticing the signs of distress earlier, Jonathan was scared of crowds, it was obvious now in the shaking of Jonathans body while his eyes darted nervously around the crowds that surrounded them and in the way he _clung_ to Evan’s body. Evan gently ran his hands up and down Jonathan’s spine, murmuring gently in his ear. Jonathan moved his head so that his face was pressed tightly to Evan’s neck, eyes closed; breathing in the spicy scent of Evan and trying to block out the sounds around him and pretend that it was just him and Evan. The deep breaths across his neck make Evan shiver.

He tugs at Jonathan’s arm after a few moments encouraging him to walk with him through the crowd, his fingers tangle with Jonathans and he keeps a firm grip on him and they walk. Thanks to his height, the crowds part before him, not wanting to be trampled on by a 5 '11’ tall Asian man they quickly move out the way. Evan makes his way to his room which he’s sharing with Tyler, Tyler’s thankfully absent, probably still with the other’s checking out the newest games.

Closing the door behind him, he enfolds Jonathan into his arms again resuming his gentle stokes down his spine.

The shaking slowly abates but his fingers still kept their death grip on Evan, and Evan was distraught he would give up anything to take away the pain and fear from his best friend, his mischievous partner in crime, the only one who’s been his rock and guiding light when things get tough with his bizarre laughter and hilarious practical jokes. The one he was _head over heels in love with._

They had shared everything together, the embarrassing stories about their families, the trouble they used to get into as children. They shared secrets, each other’s clothes whenever they were together, happy moments, laughter, their fears of the future; they shared their favourite movies, songs and books together. Then they even shared drunken clumsy late night kisses when their friends were asleep, kisses that soon turned heated, wet and warm as tongues slide against another; they even shared in each other’s skin. Skin that was damp with the heat that their bodies had created, a wet tongue tracing the contours of a toned body, lapping at the sweat and leaving trails of cooling fire in its wake, sharp teeth grazing over hard muscle.  
  
Large tanned hands holding down a writhing body, lips pressing into each little crevice. _Whispered words_ pass between lips, tight heat and quiet cries, warm lips kissing away salty tears. It’s slow and bruising and _so fucking perfect.  
_ They were _sharing each other's_ _breaths_ , one inhaling as the other exhaled, sharing their pleasure with quiet whimpers and stuttering gasps. The night wore on each giving and taking, and he was enraptured by the pale body pinned beneath him, he _worshipped_ it. Never wanting this moment to end, but then he felt the tight heat around him squeeze and he was toppling over the edge, Jonathan’s name leaving his mouth with a startled cry. He fell to the sound of Jonathan whispering his name over and over _Evan, Evan, Evan._ He’d never heard anything so beautiful in all his life.

The memory of that night burned him, he would lie in his bed his hand wrapped around his iron hard cock trying to imitate the tight heat of Jonathan, remembering the sound he made when Evan pushed deeper. He wondered desperately if Jonathan was doing the same thing, wondering if his dreams where filled with Evan and that night. They still talked, albeit it was with a much gentler manner now that got curious questions from their friends, they still shared things together so why hadn’t Jonathan shared this with him? Why hadn’t he shared his biggest fear with him?

The question slips from Evan’s shaking lips and Jonathan tenses up.

He’s still shaking and takes a few minutes before responding, letting his mind slowly recall the words he had chosen beforehand to say. They aren’t coming to him, so Jonathan just improvises, speaking from his heart. “It’s not that I didn’t want to tell you. It’s just that…I didn’t know how.” Evan lifts his head to stare up at him and Jonathan tries his best to smile at him- it’s wobbly at best, but still a smile. “I know you and the other’s like these things, so I didn’t want to ruin this for you”

Evan looks at him like he’s grown another head; he’s thinks that all this is, all of these people are more important than him. He’s got it all wrong. Evan couldn’t do all this _without Jonathan!_

“Let me help you.” 

There’s a sort a desperation in Evan’s voice that is so unfamiliar to Jonathan that he pauses, unsure on how to respond. The lurch in his chest and the warmth in his body, all caused because of Evan’s words and actions have him licking his dry lips and nodding. “Uh…okay?” 

Evan slowly pushes him backward towards his bed, and when Jonathan’s knees hit the edge he sits down. Scooting himself upwards while Evan climbs on after him, Jonathan watches, his heart beating a bruising beat against his ribs, he wants this. _He’s always wanted this, from that first night which haunts his dreams_.

But this isn’t the time for that; it isn’t what Jonathan is looking for. He wants comfort and someone to tell him that everything’s going to be okay. He wants to be safe not fucked into a mattress.  
But Evan does nothing more than take his hand in his and threads their fingers together while curling his large body around his.

Jonathan looks up at him as Evan places his hand over Evan’s beating heart. He looks down and watches his hand rising and falling with Evan’s breaths. He can feel the strong thump against his palm and he loses himself in the rhythmic beat.  
They lie together in silence, and after a few moments Jonathan realizes that his heart has calmed and his lungs no longer feel like there on fire. _“Thank you”_ he breaths gratefully moving his hand to slide around Evan’s waist he rest his head in its place.  
_“You’re welcome”_ Evan responds, lifting his hand to thread _his fingers through_ Jonathan’s _hair_ soothing the man’s fears and he bends down to place a loving kiss on his forehead, his heart singing as Jonathan’s arms wrap tighter around him.

Later that’s how Tyler finds them, asleep and curled around another. Jonathan face tucked into Evan’s chest, hidden from sight. Pulling out his phone he snaps a few photos sending them to the others and posting one to Twitter with the tags # _Aboutfuckingtime! #Vanoss &Delirious #truelove and #Daithiwasright!_

**Author's Note:**

> Liked it? Then please reeeeeview it


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